Breast Cancer Super Bowl

Breast Cancer Super Bowl

In honor of the upcoming super bowl, I decided to have a little fun comparing football terms with breast cancer (BC).  All football definitions were taken straight from dictionary.com and www.dummies.com: “Common Football Terms to Know”, because I know nothing about football.  Some definitions were slightly modified only to make shorter.  I found some to be unnecessarily complex.  All BC definitions came directly from my brain to this blog.

END ZONE Football Definition: A 10-yard-long area at both ends of the field — the Promised Land for a football player. You score a touchdown when you enter the end zone in control of the football.

END ZONE BC Definition: The area of your life you are considered a “Cancer Survivor” - the Promised Land for those battling breast cancer.

SNAP Football Definition: The action in which the ball is hiked.  When the snap occurs, the ball is officially in play and action begins

SNAP BC Definition: The action is which the cancer is detected and your health is turned over to your doctor.  When the snap occurs, action begins immediately.

EXTRA POINT Football Definition: A kick, worth one point, that’s typically attempted after every touchdown.  It must sail between the uprights and above the crossbar of the goalpost to be considered good.

EXTRA POINT BC Definition:  Every year you are cancer free is worth an extra point.  You must be cleared by your oncologist for the point to be considered good.

HALFTIME Football Definition: the intermission or rest period between the two halves of a football game, during which spectators are often entertained by baton twirling, marching bands, or the like.
HALFTIME BC Definition: The intermission or rest period between surgery and/or chemo and/or radiation.  I can’t promise spectators baton twirling or a marching band, but may offer other forms of entertainment such as karaoke or jumping on a trampoline.

 FUMBLE Football Definition: The act of losing possession of the ball while running with it or being tackled.

FUMBLE BC Definition: The act of losing adherence to your chemo schedule due to infection or (gasp) missing an appointment.

 INTERCEPTION Football Definition: A pass that’s caught by a defensive player, ending the offense’s possession of the ball.

INTERCEPTION BC Definition: a relapse of signs and symptoms of cancer returning, ending your chance of a touchdown (see definition below).

 TACKLE Football Definition: A physical challenge to an opponent, as to prevent his progress with the ball. Examples include, seizing, grasping, or bringing down.

TACKLE BC Definition: A physical challenge to the patient, an attempt to prevent her progress with battling cancer.  Examples include infection, low blood counts, nausea, mouth sores, bone pain, blurred vision, and many more.

 HAIL MARY Football Definition: a long forward pass in football, especially as a last-ditch attempt at the end of a game, where completion is considered unlikely.

HAIL MARY BC Definition: When the patient opts out of treatments (surgery, chemo, and/or radiation) hoping and praying for a miracle.  Long term survival is considered unlikely.

TOUCHDOWN Football Definition: A score, worth six points, that occurs when a player in possession of the ball crosses the plane of the opponent’s goal line, or when a player catches the ball while in the opponent’s end zone, or when a defensive player recovers a loose ball in the opponent’s end zone.
TOUCHDOWN BC Definition: When you are officially considered “cancer free”!  Touchdown dance and celebration encouraged!

 Looking on the Bright Side…I have gained a lot of new information about football and I think it is going to come in handy as Coen continues to love the game, despite my lack of enthusiasm for the sport.