Friday, February 1, 2013

So Many Emotions

So Many Emotions

I have been through a roller coaster of feelings since being diagnosed with cancer.  I spend most of my days happy, grateful, and content with the amazing life I have.  I don’t want you to think I am depressed or anything, but I have been in a bit of a funk lately.  I decided to reflect on my state of mind and really look at the complexities of my emotions resulting in my sometimes gloomy mood.  I listed some of the events in my (admittedly sheltered and comfortable) life that have resulted in the following emotions.

Frustration – When good teachers don’t get the credit and appreciation they deserve.  When my kids cry because they don’t want to take a bath and then they cry because they don’t want to get out of the bathtub.  Being diagnosed with cancer!

Fearful – Being around dogs, cats, birds, squirrels, horses, any and all animals really.  Pennies (they are very dirty and I hate the smell).  Being diagnosed with cancer!    

Sad – The death of my grandparents.  When someone refers to me as “that lady who’s scared of pennies.”  Being diagnosed with cancer!

Confusion – Wondering how the hamper is always full no matter how much laundry I do?  What is my favorite color?  Why do I have cancer?

Anxiety – The first day of school (from kindergarten to present).  Seeing people sneeze and cough into their hands (catch those germs in your arm/elbow people!).  Being diagnosed with cancer!

Shock – Discovering that I was pregnant with my second child…when my first child was only four months old!  The Milli Vanilli lip syncing scandal!  Being diagnosed with cancer!

Disbelief – The continued medical advancements in this world.  Wondering if this season of “The Bachelor” will really be the most dramatic season yet? Being diagnosed with cancer!

I think there is a common theme to these feelings.  Cancer brings a lot of emotions!

Looking on the Bright Side…cancer also puts life into perspective and I am more appreciative than ever of all the things that make me happy!
 
I share her feelings!

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