I have been
through a roller coaster of feelings since being diagnosed with cancer. I spend most of my days happy, grateful, and
content with the amazing life I have. I
don’t want you to think I am depressed or anything, but I have been in a bit of
a funk lately. I decided to reflect on
my state of mind and really look at the complexities of my emotions resulting
in my sometimes gloomy mood. I listed
some of the events in my (admittedly sheltered and comfortable) life that have
resulted in the following emotions.
Frustration – When good teachers don’t get the credit
and appreciation they deserve. When my
kids cry because they don’t want to take a bath and then they cry because they
don’t want to get out of the
bathtub. Being diagnosed with cancer!
Fearful – Being around dogs, cats, birds, squirrels, horses, any and
all animals really. Pennies (they are
very dirty and I hate the smell). Being
diagnosed with cancer!
Sad – The death of my grandparents. When someone refers to me as “that lady who’s
scared of pennies.” Being diagnosed with
cancer!
Confusion – Wondering how the hamper is always full no matter how much
laundry I do? What is my favorite color? Why do
I have cancer?
Anxiety – The first day of school (from kindergarten to present). Seeing people sneeze and cough into their
hands (catch those germs in your arm/elbow people!). Being diagnosed with cancer!
Shock – Discovering that I was pregnant with my second child…when
my first child was only four months old!
The Milli Vanilli lip syncing scandal!
Being diagnosed with cancer!
Disbelief – The continued medical advancements in this world. Wondering if this season of “The Bachelor” will
really be the most dramatic season yet?
Being diagnosed with cancer!
I think there is a
common theme to these feelings. Cancer
brings a lot of emotions!
Looking
on the Bright Side…cancer also puts life into perspective and I am more
appreciative than ever of all the things that make me happy!
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