Once again I have
been feeling extremely fatigued, short of breath, dizzy, and my heart has been racing. So I went in early for my CBC hoping to get
some relief before the headaches start (see SMACK: metal baseball bat to the
head feeling) and once again my hemoglobin levels are low. They are very low, but not super low and my
oncologist prefers not to do another blood transfusion. Apparently there are risks associated with
too many transfusions and he doesn’t want to risk it. Okay, fine but in the meantime I’m really
struggling here. I’m supposed to just
rest and try not to do much of anything at all to not overwork my heart and
under blooded body. As the nurses were
relaying this information to me I could feel myself getting upset. I just want to feel better, is that too much
to ask? Just give me some blood!!! I considered pleading or begging if needed
for some blood but I don’t want to be one of those patients and of course they
know best. Also, I am starting to feel
like a junkie. Can a person be addicted
to blood transfusions? OMG, I am a
junkie!!! I am a blood junkie…or maybe I’m
a vampire…or (wait for it) a vampire junkie!!!
No that’s ridiculous, right?
Right? I have chemo tomorrow so
they will check my levels once again, maybe there is hope for me yet. The nurse yesterday made a comment that the
good news is I don’t have to spend 5 hours of my Wednesday at the hospital
getting another blood transfusion (that is great news, kind of) and she said
there are probably a million other things that I would rather do (true, kind
of). I agreed with her as I don’t want
her to know that I may or may not be a vampire junkie, but the problem is
although there are certainly plenty of things I would rather be doing I don’t
have the energy or stamina to do much of anything other than watch TV, read,
sleep, or be on the computer. That is
the problem. Okay, time for my nap. I’m exhausted. It is 8:37 am! Agghhhh!!!
Looking
on the Bright Side…my mom took Brinley for the week so that saves me a lot of energy. Also, she often accompanies me to my CBC’s
and I don’t want her to see me begging for blood (if it comes to that).
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