Going through
chemo was one of the toughest things I have ever been through. One of the hardest parts was feeling my body
and health decline. I was weaker than I
had ever been. I didn’t recognize myself
and it was difficult to feel so sick and to know that I was not capable of
doing things that I was so used to doing.
When chemo ended I slowly began to regain some strength. I found myself able to do the simple things
that had been too difficult to do just weeks before. I began to go on short walks again. Walking around the neighborhood felt
amazing. My walks started off at a slow
pace and I only went a short distance. Every
day I would walk a little farther and move a little faster. Soon enough, things seemed almost normal again. I even started jogging, not well, but
technically that is what I was doing.
I also began to
ride my bike again. My first few bike
rides were a struggle. I was very out of
shape and the burning in my legs let me know it. I began to bike the long way home from
radiation forcing me a ride up a small but challenging hill. The first time, I barely made it up. Every day I would feel a little bit stronger
and the hill would feel a little less daunting.
It felt so good to know that I was able to accomplish the things that I
had selfishly taken for granted before cancer reminded me how quickly things
can change.
I continue to take walks and
ride my bike but I find myself regressing.
My walks and bike rides have become shorter and slower. I find myself getting out of breath a lot
more quickly. My heart beats faster and
my naps get longer. I hear myself
telling the kids that I’m too tired to play.
I hate that! I hate it so much! It sucks to go backwards. I am never sure how to react. Should I push through and challenge my body
or should I listen to my body and rest? I'm ready for things to be normal again.
Looking
on the Bright Side…although it is disheartening to feel weak and tired again,
it is encouraging to know that my body can come back after surgeries and chemo
and will again after radiation.
No comments:
Post a Comment