Tuesday, April 2, 2013

WHY?!?!

WHY?!?!

I can’t help but ask WHY?  Why?  Why?  Why?  I realize I may never know the answer to why I got breast cancer, but I just wonder what caused this.  Is it something I ate or didn’t eat enough of?  Is it from some product I used or didn’t use? Maybe it’s the lotion I used, maybe it’s the laundry detergent, maybe it’s because I eat the exact same thing for breakfast and lunch every day for months at a time?  Can you get cancer from eating too many Cheerios, peanut butter sandwiches, and cottage cheese?  Maybe it was because I didn’t breastfeed my kids up until their 2nd birthday?  Why did this happen?!?!

About a year ago I noticed that my lips were really chapped and sensitive and eventually they would get really puffy and bright red, and feel as though they were on fire.  I couldn’t figure out what was going on.  So, I continued to put chap stick on them numerous times a day.  When one type of lip balm wasn’t working I would buy a new one to try.  About 3 weeks and 12 various lip balms later, I figured it out.  I was allergic to lip balm.  Duh!  I was just applying and applying more chap stick, making things worse.  I was unintentionally nursing this allergic reaction. 

I wonder if I did the same thing regarding cancer.  Was I doing something that was just making things worse?  Was I adding fuel to the fire?  Were there signs that I should have seen?  Do I like asking myself so many questions?  Actually, it may be better that I don’t know why.  That would be some heavy knowledge to have to deal with.  I realize that breast cancer is not my fault and it is not productive to spend time wondering why I have this genetic abnormality.  I’m sure I could find more productive things to do, like organize my medicine cabinet and lip balm drawer.  I think I will do that now.

Looking on the Bright Side…although I can’t use it, we have a lifetime supply of lip balm at home. 

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