Sweet and Sassy

  

As my cancer excursion continues I have heard numerous kind and encouraging words from so many people.  I take these sentiments to heart…most of the time.  But cancer can make a person cynical.  So sometimes the little angel on my shoulder who always attempts to look on the bright side and trust that things will be alright gets overpowered by that skeptical little devil on my other shoulder who whispers sassy comments in my ear.  That pessimistic little devil can turn even the nicest comments into something different.  Here are some examples 

“It’s good you caught it early”

Sweet Me thinks - “absolutely, thank God it didn’t spread any further.  Hopefully finding it early will save my life.”

Sassy Me thinks – “Really?  Is it good?  Was it early?  It wasn’t caught early enough for me to avoid surgery, chemo, and radiation.  So I guess it really wasn’t really that good or that early.”

“Everything happens for a reason”

Sweet Me thinks – “I agree.  God has something planned for me and I just have to pray for the best.”

Sassy Me thinks – “I disagree.  Maybe not everything does happen for a reason.  Maybe some things just suck. End of story.”   

“You’re so lucky the doctors found it when they did”

Sweet Me thinks – “yes, I am very lucky.  I hate to think about what would have happened if we didn’t find it when we did.”

Sassy Me thinks – “Lucky?  Winning the lottery is lucky.  Getting cancer is not.”

“Only 6 weeks left of chemo, that’s great!”

Sweet Me thinks – “yes, it’s finally nearing the end.  14 weeks done.  It finally seems manageable.  It will all be over soon.”

Sassy Me thinks – “do you even know how long 6 weeks is? I don’t think you do.”

So you see sometimes even the nicest comments can be taken the wrong way on any given day.  I don’t want anyone to worry about having said those things to me or anyone else.  I know for a fact that each of those statements got me through a tough day.  I took those words to heart and they helped me to be optimistic, confident, strong, supported, and encouraged.  Those are all good things to say to someone…on the right day.  The problem is you never know.  If you’re wondering if you ever said something that bothered me, please ask and I will check my list.  Just kidding, I know who said what without checking my list.  I kid, I kid.  I know that intentions are good.  So if you have ever made the above comments to someone else with cancer and they seemed upset, just know that they are going through a lot of emotions and that little devil might just be hanging around trying to bring them down.  If you had said the same thing on a different day or a different time, it could have been exactly what they needed to hear.  So when I am talking with someone who has cancer, I hope that whatever I say is the “right” thing.  But if not, I hope they don’t keep a list.

Looking on the Bright Side…No one has yet to say anything to really upset me, that I can remember (chemo brain may be useful after all).