Dinner Conversations

Dinner Conversations

Sometimes I wonder about the conversations I have with my kids.  I wonder if these conversations would have ever existed had cancer not come into our lives.  Let me give you an example.  The other day the kids and I are sitting at the table eating breakfast together and somehow the conversation veers towards nipples.  Again, I’m not sure if this discussion begins because they are just regular curious 5 and 6 year olds or if it’s the result of all our lives having been changed because of my breasts, but either way they are asking me if I have nipples too.  Hmm.  It’s a good question, I’m just not sure how I want to answer.  So I decide to do what every good mother would do in the same situation…I lie.  Just kidding, but I did consider it.  Instead I tell them the truth, “no I do not have nipples.  I used to, but when I had surgery to take out the cancer they had to remove my nipples too.”  Weird, I know.  Cancer is weird enough to have to talk about, but because it involves my breasts it can get kind of awkward.

Anyway, after our nipple conversation the kids seem content with my answer and so we move on to other kid topics like how long does it take for astronauts to get to the moon, who is better at hopping on one foot, and why fruit snacks have a healthy name but aren’t really healthy.  We continue our day.

Many hours later as we sit down for dinner we begin as usual; talking about our day.  Coen tells us about what book they read in kindergarten and what game they played in P.E. and Brinley tells us about her preschool day.  Suddenly she shouts out in an unexpectedly loud voice as if she has breaking news “hey Dad, you know Mommy doesn’t have any nipples!” and Coen chimes in all excitedly that this is indeed true and adds to that by saying “and her nipples are gone forever!”  Wait.  How did our lovely dinner conversation so suddenly shift to my nipples again?  Now Jeff, of course, was already aware of my missing nipples but because of how eagerly the kids shared this information with him and how caught off guard he was of the timing, he seemed stunned.  As if he were just being made aware of this!  It was so funny.  I smiled and reminded the kids that this information is private.  It’s okay to tell Daddy about it, but it should not be discussed at say, school or anything.  Obviously.  The kids nod their head.  I can’t tell if it’s a “well duh mom, clearly we wouldn’t talk about your nipples at school” nod or an “oh man, I guess I will have to find something different to write in my journal and share with my friends” kind of nod.  Or maybe it was one of each.  In any case, we will just keep that private.  You know, other than me putting it out there for anyone to read on this blog! 

Looking on the Bright Side…we do try to eat dinner together as a family every night.  I feel it’s very important and so many great conversations happen at the table.  Regardless of how bizarre the conversations get, at least we are having them together!  One big happy awkward family dinner.