The Big Reveal

Returning Home – May 1^st 8pm

It has been a long day and I’m finally home after having surgery.  I go to change my clothes and realize that I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy my new boobs just yet.  My entire stomach and chest were completely bandaged up.  I couldn’t even see them.  It’s like a kid seeing a present with their name on it under the Christmas tree, but having to wait to open it.  I want so badly to unwrap it and take a peek.  I am convinced that under all that bandaging there lay the most amazing set of breasts just waiting to be gawked at.  My instructions though were to leave all the bandaging on for at least 48 hours.  I’m a little bummed that I have to wait 48 hours to see these incredible new boobs, but I have waited over six months already so what’s two more days?  I am in a lot of pain but it is encouraging to know that I finally have them; breasts.  They are brand new and better than before.  I’m so excited to see these new perky and beautiful boobs that I have been promised to me by my plastic surgeon.  I can’t wait to unwrap it and see how it looks! 

Finally the 48 hours are over and I get to see them.  Jeff is with me.  Gosh I hope he’s ready to see this.  I’m not sure that he’s prepared to see such spectacular boobs.  I carefully unwrap the bandages, remove all the gauze and padding, and take off the special mastectomy bra that I woke up wearing.  Drumroll please, this is a very special moment.  The moment I’ve been waiting for…(imagine hearing the drumroll and seeing a beam of light directed at my chest as if I am on stage and they are the star of the show.)

Wait.  What?  This is not quite what I was expecting.  I had a very specific image in my head and this is not it.  My new boobs look weird.  They are very round and very big and don’t look all that different from before.  I have stitches all along the top where the surgeon transferred some fat from my stomach for a more natural look.  I have the sharpie markings from the surgery still on me.  I have two drains and long tubes coming from both sides of my body.  I have new incisions covered with yellow xeroform tape running under my breasts.  I have a small bandage on my stomach from the "fat transfer" incision, but it is hardly noticeable because my very swollen stomach is covered with huge bruises.  Hmm.  Okay, this is a bit disappointing.  I realize my vision of looking like a Victoria’s Secret model from the chest up (beautiful lacy bra included) was a bit unrealistic, but this is bad.  Very bad.  I am a mess.  I now realize that it’s just going to be too difficult to see their beauty behind the dried up blood, swelling, stitching’s, tape, tubes, drains, and black marker.  I guess I will have to wait another week or so.  Maybe I will keep my expectations a little less dramatic and a little more practical.

Looking on the Bright Side…they may not look great yet, but they feel pretty good.  It’s nice to be able to touch my breasts and feel a bit of softness. 

my mom stayed with us for part of the week as I recover