With my drains
being in for much longer than I expected and radiation being delayed, I am
feeling very frustrated. The doctor also
said that I have to be extremely careful being in the sun so as not to make my
burnt radiated skin any worse than it is.
I will need to be covered. He has
cleared me to wear a short sleeved turtleneck (this is a slight exaggeration) for the entire summer so if you know where I
can get one of those please let me know.
I’d like an assortment of colors.
After Dr. Turtleneck has explained to me that my summer will be ruined
because I can’t swim or be outside without being covered, I begin to feel very
stressed. I have had too many doctors’
appointments this week and I’m tired. I
decide that I just want all of this to be over.
It has been nonstop since October and I want to be done. I just want to call it quits. I want things to go back to normal. I want to go to the pool and swim with my kids;
I want to be out enjoying the sun without having to cover my chest cavity, right
clavicle, and the lower half of my neck.
My mom calls after
my appointment and I don’t answer. I
know I will cry through the whole conversation so I let her know (via text)
that I’m not really in the mood to talk and I will call tomorrow. Now my frustration and stress from cancer has
trickled over to everything else. I am suddenly
furious at how disgustingly dirty our house is (it is not), how much laundry
has piled up (the normal amount), how loud the kids are (moderately loud), and
how tiny our house is (it actually is really tiny). The walls are caving in on me. I am stressed.
I call my mom back
the next day and she can sense how stressed I am (it could have been the
whining, crying, or saying “I’m so stressed” that gave it away.) She immediately wants to help and her and my
dad offer to come for the weekend to take the kids. She asks me if that will be helpful. Uh, yeah it will. So that’s what they did. I was still on bed/couch/lawn chair rest,
Jeff cleaned our house and did the laundry, and my parents took the kids to the
zoo and swimming at a hotel where they stayed for the night.
Looking
on the Bright Side… it's nice to know the always stylish turtleneck dickies are an option. I'm sure it will look especially great at the beach.
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