Tuesday, May 28, 2013

My Advice #1, #2, & #3

My Advice

Having gone through this cancer experience I do have advice for people out there.  My advice is quite simple really…Do NOT get cancer.  I told you it was simple (see the anti-cancer campaign posters from previous post if you like visuals).  That’s it.  That’s the advice I have for you.  Please share with others, free of charge.  You are welcome to share this advice with your children, parents, neighbors, coworkers, Walmart employees and shoppers; anyone.  You are very welcome.

What advice do I have for someone who has already been diagnosed with breast cancer?  Um, first of all I am a bit disappointed that you didn’t listen to my original advice.  I don’t know why you ask me for advice when you clearly don’t take it, but here goes.

#1: Permission to feel ________.  Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you have.  If you are feeling scared, it’s okay.  If you’re feeling sad, that’s alright.  If you’re feeling disappointed, let it happen.  If you are feeling angry, helpless, crabby, confused, hungry, etc., just give yourself permission to feel it.  You might even feel guilty, but don’t let yourself feel guilty for having so many feelings.  You may have days when you have all these feelings within a span of a few hours.  If that’s the case, I suggest you also allow yourself time for a nap.

#2: Learn to like the color pink!

#3: Take “before” pictures.  This one might sound strange, but I’m being honest.  If you have a bilateral mastectomy (as I did), take a picture of your breasts before they are removed, even if you are not that fond of them.  Take a picture because soon they will be gone and when you have the expanders filling your chest, you will long for your old breasts again (no matter how big, small, saggy, etc) and you will forget how real boobs look and feel.  If you have chemo (as I did) and you know you will lose your hair, take a photo of your hair before it falls out.  Take close-up photos and photos from a distance.  These will be handy when you forget how you used to look.  Don’t forget to take close-up pictures specifically of your eyebrows and eyelashes.  You may end up missing these most of all.  (Actually just carry headshots of yourself pre-cancer.  Then the next time some stranger gives you the “oh poor sickly looking thing” look, you can pull out the picture of your old self and brag about how you used to have awesome eyebrows.  Depending on the day this might make you feel better or worse about your current state, please use this advice with caution.)  If you don’t think having photos will be helpful or you’re not comfortable taking these…I suggest you find a close friend who will let you touch and/or closely admire her breasts, hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes.  This is what friends are for.  Then when you have your new fake boobs you can return the favor.

 

More advice to follow…

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